Physics was actually a dangerous sinkhole for my young undiagnosed adhd brain. There’s always something else to learn, some new rabbit hole to dive into, some cool research testing the limits of yet another poorly understood frontier. It’s like tvtropes but with the mysteries of the universe.
I was fascinated to learn everything, but could never hold a single subject long enough to comprehend it fully. I realized I would never hope to make a meaningful expansion or contribution to the science. You start out with ball bearing cannons and air hockey tables, and next thing you know you’re reading about string theory and supersymmetry, dark matter mathematics, the effect of gravity on time, bosons and gluons and photons, Oh my! Then you get an advisor who’s been studying the same formula on the same whiteboard for 60 years, trying to trisect an angle with naught but a compass, and if they are kind they tell you to run. If you’re smart, you listen.
The only justice in this world is that which we forge in the fires of chaos with our own bare hands, wrought of empathy and imagination and the blood of a thousand violent ancestors.
To wish for divine intervention to balance the scales is to abdicate your responsibility to your forebears and progeny.