You’re vastly downplaying the problem. There’s a reason a class action lawsuit went forward with tons of evidence backing up that it wasn’t simply the user’s error in properly maintaining the joycon. I’ve bought a joycon and had it started drifting within weeks before, even before I had kids. The sticks were just poorly designed, simple as that.
Thanks for the tip in your edit. I had 4 pairs of official joycons drift, I eventually just bought a pair of 3rd party ones to keep mounted on it and those have been working fine for over 3 years now. I still have the official joycons, actually had 2 of them serviced and repaired by Nintendo after that class action lawsuit (Nintendo said they’d repair any drifting joycon for free regardless if they’re out of warranty).
That was not the problem in “almost all cases.” Seriously, look up the class action lawsuit regarding it.