if you actually believe the fox news ass all men are rapists line

I heard that first-hand from women on this site.

you wouldn’t argue if I said all bears are dangerous

Yeah no shit, that’s the point.

I was referring to IRL safe spaces and support groups.

Making men’s spaces online specifically has the dual problem of being attacked by both misogynists and radical feminists. It’s a lot of work and a lot of hate to deal with, so they don’t pop up a lot. But yes, they do exist, there’s a semi-active menslib community on lemmy for example. I think that one veers way too heavily into the “us men are really awful aren’t we?” feminist takes, personally; the reddit one was a lot better.

no one is saying all men are rapists

You know that’s not true.

You know that’s not what I’m talking about.

Man, I have been in SO MANY internet arguments where I am simultaneously arguing against a woman that yes, men have problems, while also arguing against a man that no, those problems are not worse on the whole than women have.

Back when the whole “bear in the woods” thing was going around misogynists would try to jump in and support me.

Woman: “all men are rapists”

Me: “that’s insulting and hurtful and misandrist, and also not even close to true”

Misogynist: “Yeah! And also women are heartless bitches!”

Me: “I don’t remember asking YOU a goddamn thing”

Men don’t always isolate by choice. There’s a large cultural aversion to creating and sustaining male-only spaces, and that aversion comes from all sectors.

Every college campus has a women’s club but if you try making a men’s club you’ll probably get reprimanded.

k.

Well I would definitely put blahaj down as a queer-focused space rather than a women-focused space. It’s inclusive, women are welcome, but the community there is very much about queer issues.

I don’t think we can equate “queer space” with “women’s space”.

You really don’t see the benefit to a group of similar people to have a space focused on them, their wants and needs and daily lives? A community of people like them? It’s one of the most fundamental human desires.

lemmy =/= the internet

I mean there’s like 3 women on lemmy, and 2 of em are trans. I don’t think there really ARE any gender relations here.

Probably the “vs patriarchy” part

I give Ada a lot of credit. In the early days, I had the following interaction:

TOPIC: Something about sexual/gender preferences, I don’t remember, asking people their preferences

Me: responds with my preferences (I’m straight cis male, I like women so I’m down with post-transition trans women but pre-transition don’t turn me on)

Some random user: respectfully asks if I would be willing to date a pre-transition trans man

Me: I guess, but it probably wouldn’t work due to the fact that what I like about their body, they hate

Some of those professionally offended people took a misleading screenshot of my response and started screaming about “chasers”.

Ada did an admin post to the community backing me up and calling those idiots out.

So unless she’s changed a lot, I don’t think she’s a troll. It would have been easy to go with the mob but she stuck up for me.

Most of the fediverse is male, and there’s a significant trans woman space, but there’s no spaces that really cater to cis women or to trans men specifically that I’ve seen.

And yes, I think it’s reasonable to look for a space that is strongly (though not exclusively) cis-woman, in the same way that a Protestant would feel out of place in a Catholic community, even though they’re all Christian. I imagine most cis women feel the same way as I (a cis man) feel when going to blahaj - like a friendly, allied visitor in a foreign land.

Children.